“What do you need, Dear One?”

Those six words were whispered ever so sweetly from a dear friend of mine just yesterday. After briefly exchanging text messages about figuring out a time we could connect, she picked up the phone and called me. It amazes me how some people can just tell you need them. It still gives me chills today that our souls were connecting on a deeper level yesterday – hers was understanding that mine was in need ever so much.

In that moment of her calling me, she connected with my soul somehow and knew I was in need. She said, “What do you need, Dear One?” After my analytical/rational mind starting thinking and therefore, responding, “I think I need….,” my Sage (wise) mind took over and started to cry. It was the emotional release I needed after several weeks of pent up feelings and thinking I “just” needed to get my sh*t together. My Sage mind knew I needed so much more than what my rational mind was spilling out in words. Don’t get me wrong. My rational mind was on to something when it was trying to think my way out of what I needed. It’s just that my dear friend had a way of getting my Sage mind to take over and allow the emotions to be released in that moment so that I could get to the core of what it is I needed.

After letting weeks of pent up feelings and stress release out of me in that cry (to which my dear friend held space for me and sat quietly on the other end), I clearly knew what I needed. I needed rest. I needed relaxation. I needed to take care of me as much as I coach to my clients about their own self-care. It seems so logical to take care of yourself, yet oh so hard to put into practice if you have hyper-achiever tendencies in which you are recovering from.

My hyper-achiever tendencies got me great titles, grades, degrees and paychecks, yet those same tendencies got me stress, anxiety, strained relationships, an eating disorder and a few other health conditions. Every so often, I need to gently remind myself that I do not get my worth from any of these earthly things any more. I am enough. With or without these things. I am enough.

Today, I had a planned day off from my Corporate job, so I am taking great care to incorporate lots of rest and relaxation in my day. Even though I am a creature of great habit, I joyously chose to turn off my Apple watch alarm when some thunderstorms and high winds wreaked havoc on my neighborhood around 3 am and we lost power. It felt good to sleep in and not rush myself to getting in the shower, journaling, meditating, eating, walking and then logging on to a 7:30 am meeting. Instead, I arose just before 7 am. I sat around in my pajamas for a while. I then leisurely ate some breakfast with my husband – something I have not done in ages. I laid on the couch after eating breakfast and read a portion of a new book. When the hyper-achiever thoughts of “I should go here” or “I should do this” came as I read my book, I politely reminded myself that while those all sound rational on a day off, today’s intention was to rest and relax. It’s what I have needed for over a month now.

Sometimes, we have to chose ourselves over all else in this world. That is not selfish. That is being human. If I were to choose to be busy and do, do, do today as my hyper-achiever tendencies want me to do, I would have been faced with some severe consequences later. Maybe those consequences would not have shown up today, yet they would eventually show up. I’m glad I chose myself today and what it is I needed. What is it that you need, Dear One? How can I help you prioritize your needs and recover from your own hyper-achiever tendencies?

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